ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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