all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
