guys are only as good as the porn they watch
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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