And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
