Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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