Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
