My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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