tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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