Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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