I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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