drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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