why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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