Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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