if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
