just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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