I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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