so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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