i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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