Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
