he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
