I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
