Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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