i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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