Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
