I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
someone owes me an orgasm
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize