Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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