apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
