you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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