how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
