Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
