Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
