Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
