I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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