two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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