He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
3pm strippers are depressing
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
