My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize