your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
