so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
