I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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