My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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