I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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