margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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