i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
