Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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