All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
