Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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