R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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