Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
