we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
