Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
