Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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