If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
