It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize