Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
