My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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