i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
