New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
