your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to stick my p in your. b.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
