its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
